


Beating Heart

by HaruHara16



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abnegation Faction, Alternate Universe, Amity Faction, Candor Faction, Character Death(s), Dauntless Faction, Divergent AU, Erudite Faction, F/M, Insecurities, M/M, Series, Swearing/cursing, Violence, fears
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-05 09:23:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11575155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaruHara16/pseuds/HaruHara16
Summary: In a growing futuristic world, society is divided into distinct factions based on human virtues: Abnegation (the selfless), Dauntless (the brave), Erudite (the intelligent), Candor (the honest), and Amity (the peaceful).Once a person reaches the age of 18, they must decide whether or not to remain in their current faction or transfer to another and commit to that faction for the rest of their lives.Lance McClain, a member of the Abnegation faction, makes a choice that throws him into a spiral of adventure, intimacy, and dark secrets…





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I loved the Divergent trilogy and the Divergent film. (Although, I wasn't a big fan of the Insurgent and Allegiant films). ^^;
> 
> Originally, it was a Shidge-focused story, but somehow, I kind of lost touch with it and just dropped the whole thing. But Klance eventually grew on me and I felt like I could rejuvenate the story with my two favorite paladin pairing (and more~).
> 
> I know how long the Divergent trilogy is, but I'm not going to follow through with it completely. I'll be shortening my AU version of it so that it ties somewhere in between all of them(?) But the majority of my story will mirror the first Divergent book/film (with some changes) and possibly incorporate a few things that tie in with the series/head-canons.
> 
> I've never written fanfictions or created any AUs before (let alone try to dedicate part of my time to complete one), so I hope that you'll give this AU a chance and enjoy the story! [Regardless of incorrect grammar, spelling, etc.] :)
> 
> Tumblr: [HaruHara16](http://haruhara16.tumblr.com)  
> 

_It's not hard to miss the sound of the waves crashing into the shores of the beach. It’s a rather beautiful view, really. Watching the seagulls soar effortlessly beyond the ocean blue and into the endless horizon… Searching for seashells between the soft grains of the sand at my feet… Playing with the miniature crabs under the damp rocks? That was the life. But that all changed when we moved to Chicago…_

_It’s been 15 years since that day._

_As a kid, it was tolerable. But now it just stings in the back of my mind._

_I don’t know what happened. Roaring laughter and gasps for air were now replaced with silence and mild small talk. The ocean turned into the blaring horn of the train that passed my new home by day and the rhythm of the metal train tracks by night. The pale-cream sand became dark asphalt and rubble; boring, plain, and simple, just like this lousy city._

_I wanna go home…_

* * *

 

Lance suddenly awakes at the sound of the train passing by. He barely notices his eyes starting to water, so he quickly dries them off with his wrist.

After a few minutes of recollection, Lance finally manages to force himself out of bed and into the bathroom. He slowly pulls off his face mask and looks at himself in the mirror for a good minute or two.

“The Abnegation would never approve of this…”

And Lance was right. The Abnegation don’t view their reflections on a daily basis nor do they allow the idea of having a daily skin-care routine, since it would suggest vanity. Yet somehow, Lance was able to steal moments like this and he loved it.

Still, he brushes off the fact that he’s been doing this more often than not since it was finally _that day_.

Lance rinses his face and takes one last peek before leaving. 

Mirrors are brutal. They don’t hide anything from anyone standing in front of it. They blatantly expose everything in a single, small frame of glass and Lance sees what he expected to see: An 18-year old boy with tan skin and bushy, dark-brown hair. A sharp nose and chin that take their aligning positions atop and below each other and round eyes that soften those features.

Those ocean-blue irises used to be so full of life, but they have long turned grey…

Lance shuts off the lights and heads downstairs.

* * *

 

_"Good morning, sweetheart."_

Linda McClain, the heart and soul of the family, never had any difficulty cheering up Lance. Her hugs always brought a smile to his face, no matter the circumstance. The warmth of her arms wrapped tightly around his body made him feel safe and secure.

Everyone often says Lance is practically the spitting image of Mrs. McClain. With the same ocean-blue eyes and soft, bushy hair, there’s no denying that they are mother and son. For a middle-aged woman like Linda, her luscious curls still stuck out around her hair bun and her heartwarming smile still shined as brightly as it did when Lance became a part of her life.

_“Don’t take too long now Lance, it’s days like this that you wanna get to school on time.”_

Then there’s Alexander McClain, a stoic, proud, and good-hearted man. Not only does Lance inherit his father’s skin tone and sharp facial features, he greatly looks up to him as a role model. Alexander is a bit strict, but not too uptight. A bit demanding, but not too stern. The profound love Lance has for his father is unimaginable. When you are both a political leader of the government  ** _and_**  a man who could hold together a family as big as this one, you deserve to be showered with utter respect.

 _“Uncle Lance! You’re finally awake!”_  
_“Come sit next to me at the table, Uncle Lance!”_  
_“Keep your voices down, you two! Lance can sit right in the middle.”_  
_“You’re not gonna sleepwalk out the door like last time, are you?”_

Nathan and Carmen are Lance’s two older siblings. Carmen is a divorced mother of two young children, Adrian and Andrea, while Nathan prefers the freedom of being an unmarried man. They were the source of laughter and joy in the entire house. From the echoes of role-play down the hall to light-hearted quips of sarcasm, there is never a day where the house drowned in complete absence of sound.

But even that nightmare found a way to squeeze into reality…

This was probably one of the few times Lance got to hear the voices of his loved ones so openly.  Today was a special occasion, after all. It probably wouldn’t hurt to express some emotion. At least, more so than usual...

* * *

 

“Lance, are you okay?”

Lance looks up from his mildly-burnt toast. “Huh- Uh. What?”

“Are you okay?” Linda asks again.

“Yeah, Mom. I’m okay. I- I’m just uh-.”

Before Lance could finish, Nathan interrupts. “Don’t tell me you’re scared, Lance? You’re not the type to be afraid of anything.” He, pauses for a brief moment before smirking at his younger brother. “Except for that giant slug you stepped on at the beach with your bare feet.”

“Hey, it’s not my faults the rocks were so close together!” Lance argues, defensively. “It felt like a tiny puddle of goop! It was horrible!”

Carmen laughs, “I remember that! You wouldn’t go out near the rocks for about two weeks! Do you have any idea how hard it was to drag you out of the house?”

Adrian and Andrea chime in, “Lance is a big chicken!”

Lance bickers back, “I am not!”

As quickly as the remarks came, the stories shifted back and forth between a mouthful of toast. Chatter about petty and trivial matters from one event would spark another one to be told. Time became an illusion; it didn’t mean anything anymore. It’s times like this that Lance felt other-worldly. All his problems, all his burdens; they all disappeared at an instant. It was only when the clock struck 9 a.m. that the weight of the world suddenly collapsed on him all over again.

As everyone follows Lance to the door, Linda comforts him. “I know you’ll do fine, sweetie.” 

Lance doesn’t hesitate to ask, “But weren’t you scared too, Mom? I mean, this is a pretty big deal.” 

Linda calmly responds, “No, of course I wasn’t scared. I was absolutely terrified.” She presses her palm against Lance's face and they exchange gentle smiles. “Now, go.” Linda ushers Lance gently out the door. “We’ll see you soon.”

Everyone waves good-bye from behind the open door. Once Lance turns his back to walk down to the bus stop, he’s left with a hostile conscience.

_It’s my choice._

**_How can you do this to them?_ **

_It’s my life._

**_They are your family._ **

* * *

 

Lance sits at the far end of the bus and looks out the window. He makes it his goal not to make eye-contact with any of the passengers for the rest of the trip to the Garrison Academy. He makes it his goal not to make eye-contact with any of the oncoming passengers for the rest of the trip to Garrison Academy.

But he entertains himself by looking at people from all five factions walk in different directions to their intended destinations. 

No one knows how or when the Chicago became like this. But it’s not like the people bother to ask either. Citizens were only told that in order to keep the peace, the division into five distinct groups, or factions, was necessary. Cuba didn’t exactly have anything as ridiculous as this…

The intelligent and most knowledgable are in _**Erudite**_. Logical and calculating, they supply the city with intelligent teachers and researchers. The choice of having blue articles of clothing would make sense, since it is “a calming color that helps stimulate the brain.”

 _ **Amity**_ , the kind and harmonious, cultivate the land. They are always smiling and very welcoming; they contribute their crops and their time as counselor and caretakers. So it’s no wonder they wear informal clothes of yellow and orange to give off a pleasant appearance.

The _**Candor**_ uphold honesty and order as their highest virtue. Frank and straightforward to anyone and everyone, even when they know the truth hurts. That’s why they wear a mix of black and white, to define what the truth is. They provide Chicago with trustworthy and sound leaders in law.

The _**Dauntless**_ are the brave, the fearless, and the free. They are the soldiers who protect us, much like a police force. Bold and a bit crazy, to add. They must dress in pitch-black and sometimes, dark shades of red. Their outfits seem hardwearing, but are actually easy to move in. Leather jackets, boots, tattoos and piercings? Now _that’s_ intimidating.

Then there’s the _**Abnegation**_ , Lance’s faction. They dedicate their lives to helping others so much to the point that “Stiffs” became a popular nickname. Selfless and generous, they don colors of grey as to not draw attention to themselves. They help provide food for the Factionless, people who don’t fit into any of the categories and are left on the streets.

Nathan and Carmen make it look so easy to be selfless. Last week, Nathan offered an elderly Candor woman his seat on the bus not a few minutes in. And a few days prior, Carmen helped an old Abnegation man carry his groceries home. The walk was 15 minutes long, yet she looked as if she didn’t even break a sweat.

Lance tried to be like them, to put himself out there for the sake of other people. It was easy. _Too easy_. But no matter what he did or how many times he did anything, it still didn’t feel like enough.

* * *

 

“Next stop! Garrison Academy!”

The bus slowly pulls to a stop and Lance quickly exits. Garrison Academy is a public school that mixed different factions together, so it’s a nice change from seeing grey too many times. The hallways are wide and spacious while the classrooms are small and crammed.

While waiting for authorities to unlock the building doors, Lance stares at the far turning point of the train tracks. Out of nowhere, the distant sounds of a horn blares.

 _It’s here_.

 ** _They’re here_**.

The train’s horn grows louder and louder. The metals wheels clash with the rusted train tracks, making a high-pitched screech as the train flies by the school. Men and women surge out the door, with little to no concern of the slanted hilltop they were tumbling down. Their whoops and shouts pierces Lance’s ears and builds a rush of excitement in his chest. _How awesome_.

Lance snaps back to his senses when a young Erudite boy shoves Lance aside, causing him to fall. “Move it, Stiff. You’re in my way.” Immediately, the feelings of excitement were taken over by annoyance, frustration, and embarrassment. Lance has this undying urge to chase after the boy and tackle him down. 

But he doesn’t. He casually gets up, brushes the dirt off his grey clothes and walks it off. 

 _No, that wouldn’t make sense for an Abnegation_.

Unfortunately, this kind of thing has been going on between Erudite and Abnegation for quite some time now. The Erudite release hostile reports about the Abnegation so frequently it’s causing a strain in their relationship. Lance prays that this is only a short phase and will end soon. Now is not the time for any unnecessary attention, especially aggressive ones.

Lance quietly pushes through the crowd now entering the building and into his classroom. He takes his usual seat in the very back corner, along with other Abnegation students. Professor Iverson enters the classroom and the class goes silent. Personality-wise, he was a gruff, no-nonsense guy who means business. But it’s more likely the scar on his left eye that makes the students so anxious. Not to mention the fact that Iverson’s lectures are always so dull and monotonous. Even if it's unintentional, Lance can’t help but take naps in between. It’s literally the only way to pull through.

“Now,” he hears Iverson say, “before I start lecture, I want to remind you all of the Aptitude Test today. It will be administered 15 minutes after lunch. So unless you want to go in looking like a dying animal, I suggest you eat something beforehand.”

Lance snickers beneath his folded arms.

“The test will determine, based on your personal traits and performance, which of the factions you fit best in. While it is recommended that you select the faction indicated by your test, you still have every right to select any of the others, regardless, at the Choosing Ceremony the day after tomorrow.”

“However,” Iverson’s voice lowers, “once you’ve made your decision, no change will be permitted. At all.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: [HaruHara16](http://haruhara16.tumblr.com)  
> 

Lance secludes himself to a single table at the far corner of the cafeteria. He toys with the peas and grains of rice in his lunch tray. 

Despite Professor Iverson’s sarcastic, yet helpful, suggestion to intake some food before the aptitude test, Lance just couldn’t eat. His mind was racing at a million miles per second and emotions were swirling in all directions. The rules state that students could not prepare for the test in any way or ask anyone about it, so Lance could only picture the worst. 

Stressful days like this make him wish that his older siblings were more around his age. It would have been more comfortable to have someone to talk to instead of suffering alone like this.

The test administrators were mostly Abnegation, but due to the rules also stating that students can’t be tested by members of their own faction, there was one Erudite and one Dauntless member that administered the test as well. Ten names were called in at a time. Lance doesn’t anticipating his name to be called for several more minutes, so he sets his gaze from his tray of uneaten food to the other students.

The Erudite have their noses in their books and newspapers. A few of them are chattering and pointing at the articles, in constant pursuit of knowledge.

The Amity are singing and dancing in a circle. A few of stepped out of rhythm, but nonetheless, laughter could be heard from colors of yellow and orange.

A group of Candor boys are pointing and engaging in a lively debate. It doesn’t seem too serious, since they are all smiling.

Dauntless are shouting and yelling over a game of cards. Some slamming their fists furiously on the table, upset over their loss, while some high-five their nearby onlookers over their victory.

Abnegation students? Silent. They just sit quietly and wait. 

 _Of course they would_.

 

“…Lance McClain…”

In the midsts of all the other names, Lance could hear his be called the loudest. Everything suddenly blurs in his head. He gets up like he should, but in his chest, it feels as if an invisible black hole threatens to pull him deeper and deeper into empty space and collapse, destroying him from the inside-out.

He follows the group of students out the cafeteria and into a separate building just a few feet away. This building is small, lightly-dimmed, and consists of ten rooms. Lance walks inside and takes the last one at the end of the hall. He cautiously enters and see a young Dauntless woman setting up items.

The room is surrounded by numerous mirrors. Next to the woman is something similar to a dentist’s chair. It is hooked into a machine with wires that look like they can strangle a person at any given moment and a single ceiling light hanging above that watches every moment of suffering.

But the woman… She has some amazingly unique features. Her snow-white hair is tied into a large bun. Her brown skin and pink-blue irises contrast interestingly with her hair. She has a slender, yet muscular, physique that sports a black one-piece suit, covering her entire body. _Beautiful._

Lance couldn’t help himself. “Well, hello~.”

 

_SHIT!_

 

Lance holds his breath, expecting to be reprimanded, but the woman simply lets out a small chuckle.

“Well, I’ve never met a bold Abnegation before.” She smiles and ushers Lance to come in.

“Go ahead and get comfortable. My name is Allura Altea and I will be administering your test today.”

As Lance slowly approaches the deadly dentist chair and sits down, he catches sight of a tattoo on the back of Allura’s neck. It looks to be something like a flower?

Even after unintentionally flirting with Allura, Lance continues to blurt out questions. “Why did you choose a flower tattoo of all things?”

“Well,“ Allura calmly responds as she places electrodes around Lance’s head. “that flower is actually called a Juniberry. My family grew these on our front lawn for as long as I can remember. The fragrance was sweet and pleasant. Back when I got the tattoo, I thought that if I had a Juniberry with me, I would always be safe.

Lance mentally forces himself to shut up, but words keep coming out. “You think your life is at stake?”

“No, not exactly. But in a way, you’re right…” Allura adds, “The Juniberry makes me feel at home. No matter where I am.”

She moves to the back of the chair to connect the metal wires to the electrodes on Lance’s head. Allura then passes him a small shot-glass filled with a clear liquid.

“Here, drink this.”

Lance swallows hard. “Uh- What is it?”

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you that. You just have to trust me.”

Lance takes a deep breath and chugs down the liquid. His eyes close…

* * *

 

When he opens his eyes, he is standing in the exact same room. Alone. 

Allura is gone and Lance is surrounded by an endless illusion of mirrors. He walks around, trying to make sense of things.

 

“Choose.” A woman’s voice echoes around the room.

Lance turns around and sees two plates, one with a large piece of raw meat and the other, a knife.

“Choose,” the woman’s voice repeats.

“Wait, what will I do with them?” Lance asks.

“Choose. Before it’s too late.”

“But what do I need them for?”

 

Out of no where, a snarl. A wolf appears in front of Lance, crouching low and steadily making its way toward him. Now he realizes how handy the meat could have been or even the knife. But it’s too late.

The wolf’s amber eyes sear into Lance’s eyes. He looks away. Staring is a sign of aggression. 

_I should run, but I can’t outrun a wolf. I can’t take it down either; not an animal. I can’t do anything!_

The wolf charges at Lance. He can already see its sharp gleaming teeth sink into his skin. Believing the inevitable, Lance closes his eyes and falls to his knees, clenching his sweaty palms and teeth as to stop the scream about to escape from his mouth.

A few seconds pass and Lance feels a soft tongue lick his nose. He open his eyes and sees a puppy in the wolf’s place, tail wagging. He reaches his hand out carefully, in the instant case he needs to pull back. The puppy accepts by putting its head underneath.

Another voice fills the room. “Puppy!”

Lance turns to his side and sees a little girl in an Abnegation robe. She smiles and approaches the puppy. But when he turns back, it is a wolf again, snarling, thirsty for blood. The little girl immediately starts the run with the wolf hot in pursuit of its prey.

Without thinking, Lance chases after the dog and throws himself on top of it and they both submerge into the marble floor.

 

In complete darkness, Lance glimpses at his surroundings until a single ceiling light turns on. A Factionless man is standing there. His raggedy jacket, ripped-up pants, and oily hair make that very apparent.

He approaches Lance with anger in his eyes. Out of nowhere, he pulls out a cut-out from a newspaper article with picture of another man under the bold headlines: Murderer Suspect Apprehended!

“Do you know him?” the Factionless man asks.

Lance is frozen. His body tells him that he does know, but the other part tells him that he shouldn’t say anything since the consequences are potentially bad.  _I need to get out of this…_

“Do you know him?” the man asks with more intensity in his voice.

Lance forces his hands into a fist to hide the shaking. He clears his throat and casually answers. “No, sorry. I don’t know who he is.”

The man leans in. His yellow teeth are visible from behind his cracked lips. The smell of alcohol and cigarettes brews from his mouth.

“You’re lying!” he yells.

Lance, agitated, barks back. “I am not!”

“You’re face says it all! Now tell me the truth! Do you know who he is or not?!”

Lance stares dead-straight into the Factionless man’s eyes. “I already told you. **I don't**.”

* * *

 

Lance wakes to beads of sweat dripping from his head and an uneven heartbeat. He only had a few seconds to gather his thoughts together before Allura grabs him by the arm. “Quickly, you must go!”

“Wait! What happened?“ Lance asks.

Allura ignores his question and continues dragging Lance to the exit. “You’re going to tell your family that the serum made you feel sick and that you were sent home early.”

“But wait!” Lance pulls back. “What was my result?”

Allura slowly turns to face Lance, nervous and uneasy. “Your- Your result was Abnegation,” she pauses, “And Dauntless. And Erudite.”

Lance is perplexed at her response. “W-What? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Lance, your test results were inconclusive.”

“What? That’s impossible. I can’t-“

“No,” Allura quietly says, “it’s not impossible. It’s just extremely rare… They call it Divergent.”

Lance stares blankly at Allura.

“You can’t tell anyone about this. Not even your parents. Do you understand?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Lance tries to lighten the seriousness, “We’re not supposed to talk about this kind of thing with our parents. I got that.”

“No, Lance.” Allura grabs both his arms, pressing harder than before. Her face mere inches from his. “This is different. This means that you should not share them now or ever. Divergence is extremely dangerous. As far as the world is concerned, you received an Abnegation result because- Because that is what I manually entered into the system.”

“So what am I supposed to do now?” Lance whines, feeling lost. “This test was supposed to tell me what faction to choose at the Choosing Ceremony! I was supposed to trust the test!”

“I’m afraid,” Allura softly says, “I’m afraid that you’re going to have to trust yourself. Now go. Hurry!”

She pushes Lance out the door. He puts both his hands on his head, bewildered at everything that just happened.

_So now matter what, it’s all on me now? The choice I make at the Choosing Ceremony?_

_But… how the heck am I gonna do that?!_

_I’m… Divergent?…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Enter Allura! ^_^  
> The is story still starting off a bit slow. But don't worry, more characters will show up. Soon. ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: [HaruHara16](http://haruhara16.tumblr.com)  
> 

Lance counts the sound of his footsteps as they touch the concrete pavement. The streets are empty he thanks the heavens above that they are. He got home nearly five minutes before his usual arrival time, according to his analog watch. It’s one of the exceptions made by the Abnegation, so Lance tries to work on slowing his uneasy breath after his fast-paced walk.

He makes it to his front porch and stares at his home.

The houses in the Abnegation sector all have the same size, shape, and color. Gray cement covers the exterior and interior with two windows at every front. Trapezoid-like features, a neatly-cut green lawn, and a metal mailbox fall down the street in a single-file line. It may seem gloomy, but from time to time, Lance appreciates the simplicity.

Everything the Abnegation do is meant to avoid anything that may suggest vanity, greed, or envy. From houses to clothing, it's to forget who they are and to think about others. _We are all equal_.

Lance quietly steps inside. No one is home yet, obviously. He is only greeted by the faint aroma of this morning’s breakfast.

And speaking of food, it’s his turn to cook something today. But with just canned and frozen food, there’s not much to come up with. Chicken breast sounds good… with some peas and a slice of bread… _again_.

Lance wants to go upstairs to his room and lie down for the rest of the day. The result of the test and his hasty walk exhausted him more than it should.

But he resists the urge, takes a deep breath, and heads into the kitchen.

Not a few minutes into gathering the ingredients, Nathan and Carmen arrive home. Their laughter stops abruptly once they see their brother, eyes wide and startled. Lance could hear his heart pound uncontrollably. He works on his facial expression, hoping to smile as casually and convincingly as possible. It seems to have worked. Nathan wraps an arm around Lance while Carmen starts grabbing plates from the drawer.

They are always so helpful, even when they don’t necessarily need to be. What true role models. It irks Lance because he does the exact same thing, but around Nathan and Carmen, it’s like his work only amounts to a mere fraction of theirs.

By the time Alexander and Linda get home with Adrian and Andrea, the table is set and dinner is ready to be served. Linda immediately gives each of her children a kiss on the forehead.

“How did the test go, Lance?” Alexander asks, putting a hand on his son’s shoulder.

“It went fine.” _Candor is definitely out of the picture_.

“A co-worker of mine told me something went wrong in one of the tests.” Linda comments as she places napkins on the table.

Alexander raises his eyebrows. “Really? That’s unusual. There are rarely any problems with the aptitude tests.”

“I don’t know much about it. All I heard was that the result had to be reported manually into the system. The student apparently got sick from the serum and was sent home early."

Nathan and Carmen turn to look at Lance. _Shit! Shit! Shit!_

Linda shrugs it off. “Well, I hope they’re okay, though.”

She looks at the older siblings. “Did you guys hear anything about that?”

“Nope. Sorry, Mom.”

“Yeah, I didn’t hear anything about it either.”

* * *

 

The commotion settles down at the dinner table. Of course, Adrian and Andrea are given the seats right next to their favorite uncle. Food is passed to the right and no one is to eat until each person is served with a plate full of food.

The talking stops momentarily. Only the sound of silverware tapping lightly on the porcelain fills the room. Soft whispers to “pass the plate” could be heard if one listened carefully. But for the most part, silence. It was almost heartbreaking and Lance despised it all. Yet, it was having the entire family together that kept him in control. It was comforting.

“Tell me, dear. What’s wrong?”

Lance looks up, thinking the question is addressed at him. But instead, he sees Linda with her hand gently over Alexander’s, her thumb softly sweeping his rough knuckles. Lance gazes at their joined hands. The Abnegation are taught that physical displays of affection are powerful, so it’s quite odd to see his parents show it so openly. He’s been wary of this kind of thing for so long.

But right now, he scolds himself for being wrapped up in his own problems to see that his own father has had a rough day as well.

As mentioned before, Lance’ father is a political leader in the city council. The government consists of five major representatives, one from each faction, and Alexander had the honor of being a part of them. Members are often chosen based on their character, morals, and leadership skills. For that reason, political leaders are also allowed to choose one other person to stand in for them, much like a co-representative, if they so desire. Citizens from all factions are welcome to join and speak in the meetings, but in the end, the council makes the final decision. Alexander is particularly influential and admired due to his commitment to helping others, as expected from an Abnegation man. 

Linda, like Alexander, also works for the government. But her focus shifts primarily towards city improvement projects and volunteer work. She helps recruit people to administer the aptitude tests that occur on a yearly basis. But she is especially known for organizing workers to help provide for the factionless, from food, shelter, and even job opportunities. Something that Nathan and Carmen take part in too. But lately, the rift between Abnegation and Erudite is halting any real progress for the city’s benefit. 

“Tell me what’s bothering you.” Linda says.

Alexander frowns, “I had a difficult day at work today.”

“Is it about that report that the Erudite released?” she asks.

“One after another, everyone kept pestering me; inquiring if what she said in that report is true. Those arrogant-!” Alexander stops and clears his throat. “I’m sorry, it’s just- This time, the report attacked Nathan and Carmen’s personal lives.”

“What did it say?” Lance asks without hesitation.

Nathan shoots a warning look at his younger brother. Lance lowers his head and toys with his food. _This morning went so much better_.

Technically, Lance isn’t allowed to ask questions or say anything at the table yet, not until his parents ask him a direct question. _Maybe this morning was just for the sake of my nervousness_?

But until Lance becomes a full-fledged member of the Abnegation, he is treated as such.

“Yes, Dad.” Carmen calmly repeats the question. “What did the report say?”

“The report said,” Alexander slowly says, remembering the details, “that my poor parenting skills are the reason why your marriage was a failure and why Nathan could not find a suitable life partner.”

Already, Adrian and Andrea start to sniffle. Carmen excuses herself from the table to tend to her children. “Good night, Uncle Lance,” they manage to say. Nathan face turns sour at the news.

_That’s complete bullshit._

_Carmen deserved better than Logan. It was selfish of him to leave her behind to raise Adrian and Andrea alone, but Dad still came back to help her when she called._

_And Nathan? He chose to live alone. How is that selfishness when he wanted to place his attention on the sick and elderly; the factionless; on those who truly needed it! He had every right and Dad supported his decision, regardless._

_Dad has kept this family together through thick and thin. The nerve!…_

Lance could barely contain his frustration, “Why are they doing this?”

Linda hushes her son, “Lance, why don’t you take this opportunity to listen to your father?”

Feeling shunned, Lance sits back and stares at his half-finished plate. _I don’t think I can do this anymore..._

“Obviously,” Alexander says, “because those self-righteous brainiacs only care about gaining knowledge. That desire turns into a lust for power. I’m thankful that we all know better…”

_Well, Erudite is crossed off the list. There’s no way I’d choose to be a part of their faction. I can’t do that to Dad. **I WON’T**._

* * *

 

Linda and Alexander clear the table and clean up after dinner. Normally, everyone would gather in the family room afterwards, but because the Choosing Ceremony was the day after tomorrow, Lance needed all the time he had to think about his results. So for the remaining 24 hours, the McClain family keeps to themselves.

Lance heads off to his room with Nathan following right behind. Carmen just finished putting Adrian and Andrea to sleep. Before Lance could shut himself out, the siblings interrogate him.

“Are you gonna tell us what happened, little bro?”

Lance turns to look at them. He expects annoyance or even anger for keeping secrets, but all he sees are troubled faces.

“I knew something was up when you got home before us.” Carmen says. 

“When Mom mentioned about the test, we put two and two together and figured it out pretty quickly.” Nathan adds. “Not to mention, you almost blew up the dinner table today.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just- My test- And the Erudite-” Lance tries make words but they don’t come out clearly.

“Hey. Don’t be,” Nathan ruffles Lance’s hair and smiles. “We’re a family. We look out for each other. No matter what.”

Carmen squeezes Lance with a hug. “No matter what.”

The siblings head to their respective rooms, leaving Lance alone in the dark, empty hallway. He wishes he could tell them all what happened, that he's scared; alone. He wants to admit that he so desperately needs help, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t bear the thought of putting himself, or his own family in harm’s way if the world found out what he is. The pain of hiding is too much to handle and it leads to quiet sobs.

_Tomorrow. Five choices. Only one will win._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm awfully productive, completing another chapter in less than a week! XD  
> I don't know, guys, I'm probably just getting more and more excited. :3
> 
> Tumblr: [HaruHara16](http://haruhara16.tumblr.com)  
> 

The Sears Tower. The Hub. The centerpiece of the city; Chicago’s tallest and most prominent building. That’s where the Choosing Ceremony will be held, as it always has been.

Lance has to squint his eyes to peer at the very top. But even it has been covered by the clouds above.

A breath of fresh air makes Lance feel less nauseous. The bus ride took nearly forty-five minutes, with people hopping on and off at every stop. He gave up his seat for an Amity girl and stood the entire ride. But it wasn’t the shaky ride and the sharp turns that made him feel sick.

Lance follows his parents inside the building.  
Nathan decided to stay behind at home with Carmen to help look after Adrian and Andrea. The siblings couldn’t say much more to each other since Lance had to leave early. The only thing he has left to cling onto are their words from last night.

_No matter what._

His heart feels like it could burst out of his chest at any moment, so Lance grabs onto Linda’s arm to hold himself up.

The Choosing Ceremony is held on the 50th floor. Lance and his parents would have taken the elevator, but Alexander offered their spot to a group of Amity. They take the stairs instead, followed by other Abnegation members. This seems doable. Lance sees the possibility of him fitting into the masses of gray fabric; blending in with the homogeneity of selfless beings. But once he feels his legs get sore, the thought vanishes as soon as it came. _Another 30 flight of stairs to go_ …

The entrance to the room is held open. The interior design is in the form of a half-circle, split into five sections, according to factions: Abnegation, Amity, Erudite, Candor, and Dauntless. At the very center, there are five large, marble white bowls that carry some sort of substance of representation for each.

The students sit with their respective factions and will be called up in reverse alphabetical order, setting Lance right in the middle. His decision today makes him an initiate and, in order to be considered a member of society, he must complete initiation.

As more people pour into the room, Linda and Alexander search to secure a seat for themselves and their son. Lance loses them in the chaos and tries to catch up, but not before bumping into someone.

“Oh shoot. Excuse me, m’am.”

“No, pardon me. My apologies.” 

Lance was startled to see that the person he encountered was a woman of exquisite complexion and pure golden eyes. Her skin tone was a light shade of tan and her purple hair was neatly tied in a low bun, with the exception of a strain or two falling on both sides of her head. _A navy blue blazer and trousers? Definitely Erudite._

“Oh. Are you one of the students participating in the Choosing Ceremony today?”

“Uh, yes. I am.” Lance is still in awe of her charming appearance.

“What’s your name?”

“I’m Lance.” He extends his hand.

“My name is Honerva. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She accepts his hand and they shake.

“You have a big decision to make today, Lance. And I’m sure that your family will support whatever choice you make.”

“Yeah. I mean, the test should tell us what to pick, right?” Lance asks.

“Well, the test gives you results, but you are still free to choose nonetheless.” Honerva responds.

Lance poses more questions. “Would you really prefer that? Despite what the test told us?”

Honerva smiles and steps closer. “Of course. I want students to choose the faction that represents who they truly are and where they truly belong.”

Lance doesn’t speak, as he is unsure of how to answer.

“I believe the same goes for you too. I don’t want you to choose a faction on a whim or because you wish you were someone you weren’t. But because honestly know yourself.”

The room slowly comes to order, which signals Honerva’s departure. “I must get going. I will see you at the podium, Lance. And remember, choose wisely.”

Each year, the responsibility to conduct the ceremony rotates from faction to faction. This year is Erudite’s turn and the way Honerva bids her farewell must mean… 

**. . . . .**

Lance doesn’t think too much on it now. He finds Alexander and Linda and seats himself right between them.

Honerva steps forward to the center of the podium.

“Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Choosing Ceremony; the day we honor the historical philosophy of our ancestors, that every man has the right to carve his own path in the world.”

“Our dependents are now eighteen and on the brink of adulthood. Today, they will decide what kind of people they will be.”

Lance tenses up.

“Long ago, the first inhabitants of Chicago built faction system to eradicate the flaws of human personality, the very thing that they believed to have caused their society to go into disarray.”

“Those who blamed aggression formed Amity.” 

“Those who blamed ignorance became the Erudite.”

“Those who blamed duplicity created Candor.”

“Those who blamed selfishness made Abnegation.”

“And those who blamed cowardice were the Dauntless.”

“Working together, these five factions have lived in peace for many years, each contributing to a different sector of society. We give one another far more than can be adequately summarized. In our factions, we find meaning, we find purpose, we find life. And without them, we would not survive.”

Heavy silence follows. The fear of becoming factionless was greater than the fear of death. So that was NOT an option for Lance.

“When we leave this room today, our dependents will become initiates and work with us to build a better society and a better world.”

“Faction before blood.”

The entire room repeats the motto. _Our factions are more important than our families? How can that be?_

Honerva begins calling names. One by one, each eighteen year-old walks up to the podium. A new knife and bandage is supplied with every new name.

_Your test results were inconclusive._

Lance closes his eyes. Sounds echo in his ears, from the grand applause to even the discreet cries from families. 

_It’s not impossible. Just extremely rare._

He didn’t know if he was ready to leave or if he was willing to stay. The thought aches his body and Lance clasps both his hands together, hard. He can barely think straight.

_You can’t tell anyone, not even your parents. Do you understand?_

Until a soft, cold hand intervenes. The trembling in Lance’s hands have stopped and he feels calm for a brief moment. He looks up and sees Linda smiling. He smiles back effortlessly. _How could I leave?_

“I love you. No matter what.”

_No matter what._

“Lance McClain.” Honerva calls.

A cold rush passes through Lance’s body. He could feel all eyes on him. His hand lingers in Linda’s gentle grasp until he stands up. Alexander steps out of the row so Lance can exit, putting a hand on his son’s back to steady him. Lance stands at the stairway for a few seconds. As he prepares to walk down the steps, Alexander gives a tight squeeze on his shoulder.

_Dad?_

Lance shivers and makes his way down to the podium. The spotless knife waits at the very center. He looks at Honerva, who nods approvingly. Lance takes the blade and presses it into his left palm, creating a small but deep cut that stings for a short time. His eyes sweep at the five bowls in front of him.

_I'm afraid that you're going to have to trust yourself._

Lit coals for Dauntless, smooth grey stones for Abnegation, clear water for Erudite, fresh soil for Amity, and shards of glass for Candor, in that particular order.

_Amity, kind and loving. But it just didn’t really seem to click with me._

_Candor. I never really liked them._

_Erudite? No._

Lance turns to the left-most bowls and stretches his hand outward. It hangs above the grey stones.

He can see it. His life in Abnegation forever. His family, everyone working together to promote selflessness. A daily routine, participating in volunteer work, the soothing comfort of their presence. Maybe he’d even find a nice girl to marry and have a family of his own. Yet, Lance still feels empty inside. He visualizes himself, overpowered by the shadows of his siblings, his parents. There has to be something more, something beyond this simple life of obligation.

Lance’s eyes hover over to the dark coals. Wisps of smoke float into the air. He could hear whooping and yelling echo in his ears. The pitch-black and shades of red glare prominently in his mind. It all called to him.

He couldn’t stand there forever. He had to choose now. 

Lance shifts his arm once more and he feels the heat wrapped around his jacket’s sleeve. He squeezes his fist, feeling the smooth red liquid fall from his cut as it sizzles on the lit coals.

A great act of selfishness and a great act of courage.

_They call it Divergent._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who have been following for the first few chapters, I decided to change the mention of Honerva back in Chapter 3 to Lance first meeting her in person here.  
> I think it builds on the tension that he's feeling and to get an idea of what she's like.~
> 
> And now I know what it's like to be a fanfic writer. I have so many more ideas/AUs I want to write about, but then that means putting off some other unfinished work. Man, drawing it out would have been so much faster! :P  
> *Coughs* [This distracted boyfriend meme by MinnieTheMoocher explains it all](https://minniethemoocherda.tumblr.com/image/164642032985)  
> *Coughs again*


End file.
